Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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