My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
