i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
