i permit you to call me
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
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