I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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