I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
