can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
