my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
