I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
