if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
