$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
