And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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