Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
