He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
