Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
