I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
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