Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
is this the sara with the beer cane?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
