Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I didn't notice because vodka
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
