Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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