Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Randomize
