happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
