last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
