So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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