i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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