I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
