I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
