ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
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