The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
