I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
