I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize