im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
