I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
