Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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