I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
