Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
