WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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