Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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