But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
