pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
