Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
