An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
