man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
