i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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