Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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