I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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