Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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