Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
