i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
