it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
