dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Randomize
