Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
farters have to be the big spoon...
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
